Sports Jerseys

We've all seen these people, really fat people walking around wearing basketball jerseys. Stop dreaming, Pudgy McNorun. You don't play sports, and just because you sweat as much a pro athlete during the big game simply by breathing doesn't mean you get to wear his clothes. And also, your hat is crooked, straighten that shit out before you get t-boned in the blindspot such a misuse of a baseball cap creates.

Honestly, who do these people think they're fooling? Do they think that by shrouding their bodies in their tent-like sportswear and putting a big name on their backs will make us believe they are who they claim? Here's a little quiz to illustrate my point: Which of the following people is NOT Charles Barkley?

(a)
(b)

If you chose (b), congratulations! You can correctly spot imposter Barkleys, although they usually will make it harder on you by either not having mustaches, or being black.