Wyoming. A place that has mystified scientists for years since the information was accidentally leaked out by the Saturday morning cartoon show "Garfield" that the supposed state does not exist. Not suprisingly, this show was pulled off the air shortly thereafter.

Now, you may think by now that I'm just a crazy kid who got high while driving in the mid-west, but that's a damn lie! I have proof of my claims. It all makes sense when you think about it. Do you know anyone from Wyoming? Do you know any colleges in Wyoming? Do you know of any sports teams from Wyoming? Do you own anything made in Wyoming? Do you eat anything made in Wyoming? Do you own the Wyoming state quarter? Do you even know the capitol of Wyoming? Didn't think so, I rest my case. I will now elaborate on the subject.

The first, and simplest explanation for the Wyoming phenom is that it is simply an extention of Colorado, Montana, and Louisiana. This is the explanation most favored by those who believe to have been in Wyoming, but it fails to explain all of the strange things that seem to pop up whenever Wyoming is involved.

Another well-known theory is that Wyoming is in fact in another dimension, perhaps inhabited by aliens, or dopplegangers. The theory goes on to state that if you tried to drive into Wyoming you would simply end up on the other side, it also suggests that an elaborate system of portals that connect Wyoming to other non-existent places that exist on the same plane, these are the states of West Carolina, and North Virginia. These portals also connect with the real world in world in Vermont. I personally think that this theory is the correct one, because it explains so much. It explains why some people claim to be from Wyoming, why Vermont is the wackiest state in the union, and it tells us where West Carolina and North Virgina went to. The only thing that this theory leaves out is the so-called "CIA connection"(see below)

The "CIA connection" is the fact that the government is obviously covering something up about Wyoming (as we know that the CIA is the government agency that handles these sort of coverups). This, however, brings up the question "What are they covering up?" The CIA would not go through all the trouble of falsifying encyclopedias, memories, and maps just to cover up something that isn't there, or is simply on another plane of reality. So what are they protecting?

The final theory is very complex, and may confuse you if you are not familiar with the science of Wyomology. What this theory says is that Wyoming is a haven for international criminalls, "dead" people and Republicans(Cheney is from Wyoming). Therefore, anyone from Osama Bin Laden, to Elvis, to the latest Republican spawn could be in Wyoming. This exlains the "CIA connection" that I talked about earlier. So far, the list of people hiding in Wyoming is as follows: Elvis, Andy Kaufman, George Harisson, Osama, Stalin, Hitler's brain, Chris Farly(not Phil Hartmen, he's really dead), the remaining stooge(Curly Joe), the dead Kennedies, Lee Harvey Oswald(he and JFK are good pals now), Einstein, Mao Tse-tung, Castro, Thomas Jefferson's Robot body(his last invention), and all of Strom Thurmond's clones. The list you see is incomplete as new names are being added constantly, and the official inquiry into it has only been going on for about a month or two. Some extremist researchers claim that the whole state is actually floating above the Earth, on an orbit that takes it above Vermont, France, Afghanistan, and Japan. This explains the extreme weirdness of these places. They also claim that if you look to the sky from any of the places during a solar eclipse, you may catch a glimpse of the floating state, and you may see Osama mooning you.

When I start to talk on this subject someone always says the same things to me, so let me just get those out of the way now.
People:I know someone from Wyoming
Me:Better make sure that they're not an alien.
P:How do I become a Wyomologist?
M:It's easy, just try to find Wyoming, but it's a hard lonely life.
P:I think you're the sexiest man alive, I want to have sex with you
M:Get in line
P:Hey, I'm from Wyoming!
M:Get away from me you Doppleganger! Go back to Queen Dopplpopolis!
P:It's okay, I'm here to help.
M:AAAAAAH! The red squad! I'm not goin back to that room with padded walls! *runs away screaming*

Well, there you have it. Proof that not only is Wyoming a nonexistent state, but that the government's trying to put me away with the help of their crack team, the red squad.