Wannabe-Goth Clothes

A lot of extremely lame people like to wear wannabe-goth clothes. These types of clothes include the kind of t-shirts you spend 40 dollars on at Hot Topic. These shirts usually proclaim the wearer's love for some shitty band like Korn, Nine Inch Nails, or some other band whose logo contains one or more backwards letters. Backwards lettering is a sure sign of lameness, avoid it at ALL COSTS. Last time I checked, dyslexia was not cool, people! Some of these shirts even go so far as to have half decent bands like Sublime or Operation Ivy, but don't let their ability to feign passable taste in music fool you! They still suck at life. Another trait of wannabe-goth style is the prevalence of multiple zippers, nearly all of which serve no purpose except to prevent them from gaining access to airports (which is a good thing, would you want one of their ilk behind you on an airplane, rocking out to Tool or Good Charlotte for 8 hours?). As this graph shows, as zippers approach infinty, lameness does as well. As the graph also shows, the most awesome one can be is an Amish level of zipper lack, although I hope most of the patrons of HAIT.com fall on somewhere near the 1 zipper level. In some cases more than one zipper can be good: for instance when undressing is aided, or when used on large amounts of leather, but looking like my mother's sewing box exploded on your legs is not acceptable.

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