Shirts That Indicate The Bitchiness/Heartbreakerness of the Wearer & Capris

This image shows three clothing-related indicators of the lameness of the wearer. Take note:

1) The shirt tells us how much of a heartbreaker she is. That's not awesome at all.

2) The shirt doesn't even cover her stomach. For my proposed solution to the problem,             please click here.

3) Are those pants? No, they're too short. But they're far too long to be shorts. So what are they, you ask? They're the horrible invention of the fashion world known as 'capris'. Those familiar with my made-up explanations of product origins will know that capris originated when Mr John McSooperlaim shrunk his girlfriend's wool pants by washing them in hot water. Instead of telling her what he did, he comitted the heinious act of making up a story about pants that don't cover the ankles being all the rage! This lie is what currently subjects us to this fashion disaster. If you want to wear pants, fine. If you want to wear shorts, go for it. Just don't try to compromise with capris. The only compromise you're making is on your level of lameness ( it increases if you wear them).